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  • Writer's pictureDebbie Heneghan

The Ego - A Very Tricky Manipulator; Crushing the Ego at its Own Game


woman's ego in the background telling her what to do

Welcome back for the final week of our May exploration around Fear/Ego and Love/Truth. This week, let’s conquer the ego once and for all! 


The Problem: The Ego's Fearful Grip


Man's ego growing stronger

While love is a powerful force that fosters connection and joy, the ego can often act as a sneaky saboteur. The ego thrives on a sense of separateness and the need to be in control. It whispers anxieties about rejection, vulnerability, and loss. It brainwashes false experiences, beliefs, and self-qualities. The biggest driving force for the ego is to inject fear in you on every level and in every area of yourself and your life and the world around you. 


Fear can manifest as:   

  • Excuses:  It’s not the right time; I don’t have enough money; I must do this/that before I can proceed forward (with a new job; with the difficult conversation; with the first step on a path that you’ve never stepped before) 

  • Handing Over Your Power:  having doubt; following what others tell you to do when it doesn’t feel good in your heart; becoming someone that you’re not (losing your identity)

  • Need for Validation: Constantly seeking approval from others 

  • Defensive Walls: Creating a seemingly protective barrier around you to keep yourself from getting hurt, but instead this is just a 'limitation bubble' keeping you in the same place with no movement or expansion


These ego-driven behaviors create a barrier to love (self-love and love in your life and in the world), preventing you from experiencing love to its full potential.


The Realization: Recognizing the Ego's Buggy Ways


Bug is the symbol of the ego

One of the keys to neutralizing the ego's poisonous bites starts with awareness. Ask yourself these questions:

  • What limiting beliefs are holding me back from taking a step forward?  

  • What excuses am I feeding myself each day? 

  • Am I handing over my power to someone else or to something external to myself? 

  • Am I in search of validation, approval and/or recognition for every little thing I do in life?  


These questions spark a realization that the ego's poison is breaking down your healthy, strong, confident self - one layer at a time. BUT you have the power to water down that poison and to crush the ego bug as you step forward by choosing love instead.  


The Solution: Squash Ego Like the Little Bug It Is, With Strength, Love and Faith


Bug's ego to be smashed by a shoe

It would be great if bug spray did the trick, but it requires a bit more work from you! Here are some ways to break free from the ego’s bites:


  • Fess-up missy! Yes, that’s right, fess up to the truth of how you’re living, acting and doing. If you’re not following your dreams, then you are sitting in a limited space (limited faith; limited confidence; limited expansion). Build up your confidence, dig deep for strength, bring prayer into the picture and ask for help.

  • Ditch those damn excuses! Do a “talk to the hand” to yourself the very moment you start with an excuse as to why you “can’t” do this or that. You do indeed have excuses holding you back and those excuses are NOT yours; they are the ego’s handcuffs locking you in one place, not able to move from the so-called “comfortable haven.” Be honest and vulnerable with yourself about your excuses (no one needs to know if you don’t want to tell, but you must be honest with yourself and stop the excuses)

  • Power Up!!  Where’s your power right now? If you’re not in charge of your life and you live life based on external influences, then you are NOT in your power. Take charge, follow your heart and “be you!”

  • Validation VOID! Get rid of the need for validation, acceptance and approval. Why TF do you need approval and validation to simply be yourself (perhaps you’re not really being yourself?). Take a look in the mirror…if you’re seeking, asking, begging for acceptance then it’s time to help yourself LOVE YOU! No one else can do this for you. Work to be comfortable in your own skin with what you say, do, and how you live, act. 


By consciously looking the ego in the eye, seeing right through its conniving ways and spraying it with your ‘love spray,’ you’ll be sure to start getting to the root of beautiful you and living a more fulfilled life led by faith, courage and strength.  


Join the Conversation!

We want to hear from you! Share on social media: "What limiting beliefs (ego whispers) are holding you back from living a love-filled life?" Let's create a supportive community and learn from each other's experiences!


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